Belinda Read online

  She jumped up and ran to hang onto his leg. “Ranger pottied on the rug, and Mommy spanked him with the newspaper.” She stuck out her lower lip. “He cried.”

  “Looks like he got over it.” He nodded down at the puppy growling at the metal toe of his boot.

  Belinda patted the puppy. “He just needs to learn how to behave. You’ve gotten spankings, too, Andi.”

  Rick staggered back in mock dismay. “You’ve disobeyed your mommy and had to be spanked? I’m shocked, Andi.”

  She giggled, and he picked her up and kissed her. The feel of her small body brought out all kinds of fatherly feelings he hadn’t realized he had. She and her mommy belonged to him.

  He put Andi down and smacked her small bottom lightly. “Go get your coat so we can go. I’m starved.” He turned to Belinda when Andi had run off to find her coat. “You don’t have to worry about who sees us anymore. Mrs. Mitchell can’t touch you now.”

  Her face brightened, and she smiled. “That’s right! I hadn’t thought of that.” She grabbed her coat and slipped it on. “Now I feel like celebrating!”

  Over supper Rick kept glancing at Belinda. What was it about her that made her so different from every other woman he’d met? It was hard to put his finger on just what made her so appealing. She was a good mother, gentle but firm; she was strong and independent but womanly all at the same time; but most of all, her love for God and other people shone out of her extraordinary eyes. Who wouldn’t fall in love with a package like that? He knew he wanted her at his side for the rest of his life, but he didn’t know what it would take to make her fall for him. What if she never did? What if she never loved him the way he loved her? He didn’t want to face the thought.

  Traffic was light on Highway 24 as Belinda drove to Fort Wayne to see the lawyer. The sun was shining, although there was the typical brisk November chill to the air. She needed to think seriously about doing some Christmas shopping. She would have Rick to buy a gift for this year. She smiled at the thought. Her parents were both dead, and her brother, Mickey, lived in Washington State. They exchanged occasional letters and phone calls, but they lived too far apart to exchange presents. When he came for Andi’s birthday last summer, it had been the first time she’d seen him in two years.

  She only had a wait of five minutes before the receptionist showed her back to the office. When she walked in, she was surprised to see Rick sitting in a chair across the desk from the attorney.

  “Hope you don’t mind,” he said. “I was up here on business anyway and thought you could use the moral support.”

  She’d never been so glad to see anyone. How had he known she needed some bolstering? She gave him a wide smile. “Thank you,” she told him.

  “I’m Charles Barker,” the man sitting at the desk said. He stood and shook her hand. “I won’t hold it against you that you’re a friend of Rick’s. Have a seat.” He pointed to the chair beside Rick.

  Belinda liked him immediately. His brown eyes displayed a keen intelligence, and his ready smile put her at ease. He was about Rick’s age, short with thinning brown hair and bushy eyebrows. She sank down into the chair he’d indicated.

  He rifled through some papers. “So the grandmother is suing for custody. Does she have visitation now?”

  “Oh, yes. Anytime she asks for her, I let her take her.”

  “Hmm, that’s good.” He leaned back in his chair. “I don’t think she’ll be able to get custody, but you never know with judges. Tell me a little bit about your circumstances.”

  Belinda told him about her widowhood, what she did for a living, and how they lived. Rick sat quietly beside her and didn’t interrupt.

  “It doesn’t sound like she has much ammunition,” Charles said. “Of course, if you were remarried, it would make your case even stronger. Any chance of that happening in the next six months?” He looked at Rick when he asked.

  Rick grinned. “You never know.”

  Belinda laughed nervously at the joke. “I have no plans for marriage.” She wanted to cry. It was sweet of Rick to try to make Charles think some man would be interested, but she knew better. It was unlikely any man would want her with her plain appearance and the added baggage of a small daughter. She’d resigned herself to the cold hard facts long ago.

  Charles told her not to worry, then Rick walked her to her car. “I have to go out of town on business for a few days,” he said. “I should be back by Sunday, though. Do you have plans?”

  She shook her head. “The only plans I have are to talk to my camp friends this Thursday. We always talk the last Thursday of the month.”

  “I’m going to have to meet them someday,” he said. He pressed her hand. “I’ll come over when I get back. Tell Andi I’ll bring her a surprise.”

  “Not another puppy, please,” Belinda said with a smile. “Ranger has already destroyed my slippers and my favorite socks. I can’t afford to lose any more stuff.”

  “I won’t bring anything live,” he promised. “Try to miss me a little.” He waved and ran across the street to his Jeep.

  A little? She would miss him a lot. She knew she should stop seeing so much of him. But it was already too late to guard her heart. It would be devastating to her and Andi when he stopped coming around. She watched him drive away, then sighed and went to her car. The old Escort balked at the first attempt to start it, and she was afraid she was going to have to go back inside and ask for help, but it finally turned over. She had better get a new battery at the mall when she went.

  The mall had just opened when she went inside. She found a couple of outfits for Andi on sale at Penney’s then wandered over to L. S. Ayres. It was too expensive for her budget usually, but sometimes when they had a sale, she found some good buys. It was fun to look anyway. The store wasn’t busy, and when she went by the makeup counter, a smiling young woman offered her a free makeover. She started to say no, then decided why not. She’d never had a makeover before. She could sure use some help.

  She sat on the stool, and the young woman who said her name was Darcy pulled her hair back and started in.

  “You have lovely skin,” Darcy told her. “I’d kill for skin like that.”

  Belinda didn’t say anything. She knew these saleswomen had to say things like that, although she had to admit Darcy’s skin was blotchy and spotted with pimples on her chin. Darcy used a nice-smelling cleanser on her face and neck, then applied toner and moisturizer. Belinda was surprised at how wonderful her skin felt.

  Darcy explained each step as she applied foundation, blush, eye shadow, and mascara. The whole process took nearly half an hour. Belinda was glad she didn’t have to go through this every morning. But when Darcy was finished and Belinda looked in the mirror, she was astonished at her reflection. She looked so different—almost, well, pretty. Fascinated, she turned her head from side to side and just stared. Was that really her? She wished she could afford these products, but Darcy told her that everything she had used today would cost over a hundred dollars. She thanked her and got up to leave.

  “Wait a minute,” Darcy said. “I almost forgot we’re drawing a name in fifteen minutes for a free kit of smaller bottles of this same makeup. Here, sign up.” She slid the form across the counter to Belinda.

  Belinda filled it out, but she’d never won anything in her life, and she knew she wouldn’t win now. But it didn’t cost anything to try. She gave the completed form to Darcy and wandered around the store. She found a pair of shoes for Andi on sale, then stared longingly at a red dress for herself. Even on sale, it was fifty dollars, so she put it back. She wouldn’t be able to buy Andi’s shoes if she bought the dress.

  A voice over the loudspeaker announced that there was a winner of a makeup kit. When her name was announced, she thought it must have been in her head. But the announcer said it again, and she realized she really had won. She hurried back to the counter.

  Darcy was watching for her. “I’d hoped you’d win,” she said. She handed Belinda the makeup kit
.

  “Now if I can just remember everything you did,” Belinda said.

  “Just a little practice, and you’ll be fine,” Darcy told her. “Now go home and wow that man of yours.”

  What man? She wished there was a man. She couldn’t even get Rick’s reaction. He was going to be gone until late Saturday night. She put the makeup in her bag and headed for the car. She had to fight lunch-hour traffic and felt wrung out and exhausted by the time she stopped to pick up Andi at Dawn’s.

  Dawn squealed when she saw Belinda. “You look fabulous. I’ve never seen you with makeup on before. What’s the occasion?” She patted a spot on the couch beside her. “Sit down.”

  Belinda sat obediently. “I won a makeup kit,” she told her. “Does it look okay?”

  “It looks more than okay.” She looked at her critically. “Now if you’d just let me do something about your hair.”

  Belinda suddenly felt reckless. Dawn had been bugging her to let her fix her hair ever since she’d graduated from beauty school. “Why not? I’ve come this far.”

  Dawn whooped, then put her finger to her lips. “Shh; the kids are asleep.” She took Belinda’s hand and dragged her to the kitchen. “Sit.” She pushed her down onto a chair and began to run her fingers through Belinda’s thick mass of curls. “Don’t chicken out on me—I just have to go get my scissors.”

  “Scissors?” Belinda wasn’t so sure about this. She had worn her hair long for so many years; she didn’t know if she could face something totally new.

  “Don’t panic,” Dawn laughed. “Just a little snip.”

  The little snip turned out to be a layered cut that released the curl in her hair. Dawn cut a few wispy bangs, then pulled the top back from Belinda’s face and let the curls cascade down her back. After pulling a few strands free to curl around her cheeks, she was satisfied. She took Belinda to the full-length mirror in her bedroom. “What do you think?”

  What did she think? Belinda wasn’t sure she recognized herself at all. Her round face was contoured with blush, and the few wisps of curl around her cheeks and the bangs emphasized her eyes. Would Rick like it? She was mortified to discover that question was her first thought. This had gone way too far. She looked again at the stranger staring back at her from the mirror.

  “I think I like it,” she said.

  “I love it!” Dawn fluffed the curls at Belinda’s cheeks a bit. “Now I have the perfect dress for you to wear to church.” She went to her closet and pulled out a tangerine dress with a cream collar and sleeves.

  “Orange?” Belinda protested.

  “It’s not orange. It’s more red than orange,” Dawn said. “Trust me; it will look wonderful.”

  And it did, Belinda decided. The color brought out the reddish highlights in her hair and brightened her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t mind if I borrow it?”

  “It’s yours,” Dawn said. “It doesn’t fit me anymore since I lost weight.”

  “You’re a doll.” Belinda hugged her. “Now I’d better wake Andi up and get home.”

  Andi was too sleepy to notice her mother’s changed appearance, but Belinda kept looking in the rearview mirror and wondering who that woman was.

  Chapter 6

  Over the next few days, Belinda practiced the art of applying her makeup until she could do it in fifteen minutes. The days dragged by, and she missed Rick with a sharp ache. She hated to admit, even to herself, that she had fallen in love with him. She was sure he just thought of her as a friend, though. He’d never even kissed her. He’d hugged her when she was upset, but that didn’t count. She didn’t know what to do about it. She had to get over this feeling somehow.

  Sunday morning she dressed carefully, arranging her hair in an artful cascade of curls, putting her makeup on, and slipping a pair of extra nice pantyhose on before putting on her dress. I look pretty good.

  Andi stared at her mother, then smiled. “You look pretty, Mommy.”

  “Thanks, sweetie, so do you. We’ll be the beautiful Mitchell girls today.”

  When they got to church, she looked all around for Rick but didn’t see him. Disappointed, she sat next to Mike Meredith, but she kept checking behind her to see if Rick had come in. Mike looked at her a bit strangely then sidled over closer and began to talk to her. Before she knew it, he had asked to take her and Andi to lunch. Peeved because Rick wasn’t there, she said yes. She used to wish Mike would notice her, but he never had before today except when he wanted her to care for his pet gerbil once when he was out of town.

  She didn’t much enjoy lunch with him. He ignored Andi and talked about himself the whole time. When he walked her back to her car at church after the meal, he tried to kiss her, and she was forced to push him away. He was moving way too fast.

  Rick’s Jeep pulled up when Mike’s arms were still around her. Her heart leaped when she saw his tall figure get out and come toward her. She jumped guiltily away from Mike and said a hasty good-bye. Had Rick noticed that Mike’s arms had been around her?

  Andi squealed. “Mr. Ranger!” She kicked her feet in the car seat and waved at him.

  He blew her a kiss and opened her door. “Hey, Kemosabe, did you miss me?”

  His answer was a stranglehold around the neck when he got her out of the car seat. He was grinning broadly when he turned to Belinda. His smile faded. “What did you do to your hair?”

  “Don’t you like it?” She asked while touching her hair self-consciously.

  “I didn’t say that, but it’s different. You look different.” He didn’t sound too happy about it either.

  “We eated a pizza with Mike,” Andi announced.

  “Mike?”

  “Mike Meredith from church,” Belinda explained. “You’ve met him. He just left.” She hadn’t wanted him to know. It had been a silly impulse to even accept; she’d regretted it as soon as she’d done it.

  Rick frowned. He put Andi back in the car seat and turned to go. “I’d better shove off,” he said.

  “You want to come to my house?” He had to have seen her. He would hardly look at her.

  He just shook his head and strode toward his car with an angry stride. Belinda watched him go with a breaking heart. Her brief moment of pique at his late appearance had ruined it all.

  The last three days had been murder. Rick was hurt and angry. He hadn’t expected her to try to find another man while he was gone. Maybe he should have let her know earlier in their relationship just how he felt, but he’d been afraid of scaring her. Now he’d blown it; she was obviously on the prowl for a man with that new hairstyle and makeup. She’d looked beautiful, though. But he’d liked the old Belinda, the one who made cookies and got flour on her nose. The one whose smile lit up the room. She didn’t need makeup or a new hairstyle for him to see her beauty. Too bad the other guy didn’t think she was good enough just like she was.

  He decided to go to the custody hearing, in spite of his hurt. Maybe the other guy wouldn’t be able to show up. He sat at the back of the courtroom and listened. The smarmy Mallory person didn’t fare very well. Every time he tried to bring up a point, Charles countered it. When the hearing was over, the judge threw out the petition, slapped a fine on Mrs. Mitchell for filing a frivolous lawsuit, and also ruled in favor of Charles’s request for supervised visitation when he pointed out she’d threatened to take Andi out of state. Mrs. Mitchell stalked out with angry tears streaming down her face. He didn’t think it was because of love for Andi, but because she hated to lose. She would no longer be able to hold anything over Belinda’s head. He slipped out before Belinda could see him.

  He hadn’t been to church in weeks, and he missed it, but he just couldn’t face the thought of seeing Belinda with her new beau. He knew he needed to find another church, but he had liked New Life so much that he hated the thought of switching. It was wrong to stay away from church, though. He was going to have to do something this Sunday.

  The last day of the year he ran into Dawn at Daywalt’s Drugstore
.

  “Where have you been?” she demanded.

  He smiled. Good old Dawn didn’t pull any punches. “Around. I’ve been busy.”

  She regarded him with a skeptical gaze. “Too busy to come to church, but not too busy to break Belinda’s heart, not to mention Andi’s.”

  He sighed. “Belinda and I were just friends.”

  “Oh? Is that why she looks like she’s been crying every time I see her?”

  He stared at her. “What about her new boyfriend?”

  Dawn looked puzzled. “What new boyfriend? She hasn’t been out with anyone but you.”

  “Mike Meredith. She won’t even have to change her initials when she marries him.”

  Dawn burst out laughing. “She’s not interested in Mike! Whatever gave you that idea?”

  A pulse of hope began to beat in Rick’s chest. Had he really messed things up? “When I got back from my trip, she’d gone out with him for the first time. I saw him with his arms around her.”

  “Oh? It must have been something very casual because she never mentioned it to me. He’s been bringing some bleached blond to church for the past two weeks.”

  Rick began to smile. He took off toward his Jeep at a dead run.

  “Hey, where are you going?” Dawn called after him.

  “To propose,” he yelled back.

  “All right!” Dawn danced a little jig in the parking lot.

  Belinda took down the last of the Christmas decorations and put the box in the corner to be taken to the attic. She usually left the decorations up until after New Year’s, but her heart just wasn’t in it. The one brightly wrapped package on the table was for Rick, but he hadn’t been over since that first day she’d gone to church with her new look. Had he disliked her appearance that much, or had seeing her with Mike made him mad? She would probably never know the reason. He had never come back. If he’d even given her a sign that he was jealous, she could have explained or apologized, but there was only silence.

  She peeked in on Andi and smiled when she saw her sucking her thumb in sleep. She only did that once in a while now. Her baby girl wouldn’t be a baby much longer. She closed the door softly behind her and went back to the kitchen. She heard a car door and looked out the window. Her heart pounded when she saw the red Jeep parked in front of the sign. Was it Rick? Hope made her tremble. She put a hand to her throat when the doorbell chimed. She took a deep breath and went to the door.