Heart Full of Love Read online

  “I have a good feeling about today.”

  “I hope you’re right.” Eden leaned back against the seat and sighed. Josh’s optimism was rubbing off on her. She needed to guard her heart in case of disappointment, but she was tired of doing that. She’d done that for years. It was time she let go and risked her heart. She’d never felt so reckless, so ready for adventure. She slanted a glance at Josh, and gratitude swelled in her heart. It was so kind of him to pursue this for her.

  Before she knew it, they were merging into traffic around Cincinnati. She directed Josh where to turn, and they soon found the street. The houses were all small ranch homes from the forties with no garages or porches, just cracker-box houses that were all alike save for the occasional splash of color from an enterprising homeowner.

  “There it is!” Eden’s heart began a taut staccato beat against her chest. She bit her lip and tried to slow her breathing. “What if it’s the wrong pastor?”

  “It isn’t.”

  Josh’s calm voice quieted her fears. She nodded. “This looks vaguely familiar. I can’t put my finger on just why.”

  Josh put the car in park and turned it off. He glanced into the backseat. “Katie is asleep. Want me to stay in the car with her?”

  At the thought of going to the door by herself, her throat grew tight. Josh must have seen the panic in her face, for he patted her shoulder. “Never mind. I’ll carry Katie.” He opened his door and got out. Slipping Katie from her seat, he cradled her against his chest where she hung in a dead weight like a rag doll.

  Eden took a deep breath and opened her door. Her heart hammered against her ribs, and her blood pounded in her ears. Licking her lips, she shut her door and started up the walk behind Josh. He strode purposefully to the door and turned to make sure she was with him. The doorbell pealed inside.

  Eden ceased to breathe. She swallowed hard and clenched her hands together. What if he didn’t remember anymore?

  Josh turned and gazed at her. “I just realized—there’s no car in the drive or at the street.”

  A woman walking a small poodle with a pink bow on its head stopped in front of the house. “Are you looking for the Brittans?” the woman asked.

  Eden turned to stare at her. The woman was about her age with bright red hair and a dusting of freckles across her friendly face. Eden felt a sense of recognition; a memory, faded but still full of warm feelings, came over her. A little girl with red hair and a smile that never dimmed. She couldn’t tear her eyes from the woman’s face.

  “I’m Molly Larson. I live across the street. The Brittans are on vacation in Florida. They won’t be home for a couple of weeks.”

  Eden barely heard the woman’s words. The sense of familiarity grew. Molly. The name heightened the feeling that she should know this woman. A little girl’s features began to overshadow the woman’s. “Molly? Um, have you lived here long?”

  Molly tilted her head and stared at Eden. “You look familiar to me.”

  “I’m Eden Walters. I lived with the Brittans for a few months. I used to be a Richmond.”

  Molly gasped. “Eden! I remember!” She rushed across the grass with her hands outstretched. “I thought of you just the other day. Let me look at you! Where did you go? You never answered any of my letters.” She rushed on without waiting for an answer. “Remember the tree house we built in my backyard? It’s still there, and my kids play on it.”

  Eden took her hand and squeezed it. The years fell away as if they had never passed, and she was eight years old again. “You were the best friend I ever had, Molly. I still have the diary you gave me when I went away.”

  Molly’s smile was bright. “The Brittans aren’t home, but I am. Let me get you a soda, and we can sit and get caught up on news.”

  Eden followed her across the street, barely conscious of Josh trailing behind with Katie. She should have introduced them, but she was just so shocked, she couldn’t think.

  The house was the same one Molly had lived in as a child. The carpet and kitchen had been updated, but when Eden asked to use the rest room, she found the same pink tile on the floor and walls. The sight brought the past back so vividly, Eden felt almost physical pain.

  Katie was still sleeping in Josh’s arms when she made her way to the kitchen. Molly was chattering to him as she dropped ice into glasses and poured soda out of a two-liter bottle. Eden sank into a chair and watched her old friend. She felt as though Molly might disappear and leave her bereft again.

  Molly handed them each a glass and sat in the chair beside Eden. “Now tell me what you’re doing here,” she demanded. “And why didn’t you answer any of my letters?”

  “Letters? I never got any letters. I lost your address, and my foster mother said it was just as well, that it was best to break with the past.”

  “I sent you a letter every week for months.” Molly frowned. “Do you suppose she kept them from you?”

  “It’s possible,” Eden said slowly. “She was afraid to let me get close to anyone from school. I think she knew I wouldn’t be there long. She taught me to iron and clean, and I was so busy I didn’t have time to miss not having any friends. But I never forgot you, Molly.”

  “I even wrote your aunt once to see if she’d heard from you. She sent me back a very nice letter but said she hadn’t heard a word and didn’t expect to.”

  Excitement threatened to choke Eden. She gripped Molly’s hand. “You have my aunt’s address? I can’t even remember her name. I only met her the one time.”

  “Oh, Eden, I don’t remember either now!” Molly slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand.

  Eden’s burgeoning hope faded, and she felt near tears.

  Molly bit her lip. “Wait! I might still have the letter. My husband says I’m a hopeless pack rat, and I have a whole box of childhood mementos and letters. Let me look.” She jumped to her feet and dashed down the hall.

  Eden looked at Josh. “Hang in there,” he whispered. “Don’t give up hope yet.”

  She nodded, but her throat was too tight with unshed tears to speak. All this way for nothing. But no, not nothing. She’d found Molly. That was something.

  A shriek echoed down the hall. “I found it!” Moments later, Molly came running down the hall. “Here it is, Eden! Her name is Selma Johnson, and she lives in Michigan.” She held out a tattered envelope.

  Eden reached out a trembling hand and closed her fingers on it. It was a link to her family. Her only link.

  Chapter 9

  Josh watched the play of emotions across Eden’s expressive face from the corner of his eye. The van hummed smoothly across the highway, trundling toward Wabash. Eden smoothed the letter from her aunt across her lap as though caressing a treasure. And he supposed to her it was. His own emotions were running high, so he could only imagine how Eden felt. They would be home soon, and then they could decide what their next step was.

  Home. Already he was beginning to think of that dilapidated Victorian as home. Though shabby, its fading grandeur was enhanced by the warm presence of this woman beside him. Eden could make any house a home. She had a presence about her, a calming competence that set people at ease. He’d just seen her do it with Molly. People took to her right off, children and adults alike. Josh had never met anyone like her.

  No wonder Katie adored her. He felt a stab of guilt at the thought of his plans to gain custody of his niece. Where was his trust, his faith in God? He’d been scheming and laying his own plans without even consulting God. The problem was, he had a feeling God wouldn’t slap a rubber stamp labeled APPROVED on his plan to take Katie. He knew Katie needed to be with family, but in his heart he admitted Eden was a better mother than Mandy would have been. It ached to admit it to himself, but it was true, nonetheless.

  Eden’s soft voice broke into his tortured thoughts. “You don’t think we’ll find them, do you? I thought you’d be glad we’ve gotten this much information.”

  “I am.” He forced a note of cheerfulness into h
is voice. “I was just thinking about my future. Of course we’ll find them. This is a great start. When we get home, I’ll hop on the Internet and see what I can find out about your aunt.”

  “Your future?”

  Was that alarm in her voice? He nodded. “I can’t be unemployed forever. I have enough money to last a few months, but I need to be looking for a job.”

  “Where will you look?” She bit her lip and turned to look at the passing landscape. “I’d hoped you’d join us for Thanksgiving.”

  “I’m not talking about leaving this week. But once the holiday is over, I really should start sending out some résumés. I doubt there are any jobs around here for someone with my background. I’ll probably have to go to Texas.”

  She barely nodded, and Josh’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel. For a crazy moment he wanted to put his arms around her and tell her he’d never leave her and the children. What had gotten into him? His aching heart seemed to find solace and comfort in Eden’s presence, and it had to stop. He answered to no one, and he liked it that way. This woman would tie him in one place, and he’d never see the world again.

  I’ve seen all the world I need to see. He shrugged the thought away and concentrated on the road. He liked his life just fine the way it was. There was no reason to let a woman’s green eyes tempt him from the life he’d chosen years ago. With just Katie, he could still pack up and move whenever he pleased. Eden would just complicate matters.

  They stopped for supper at a truck stop near Indianapolis. The parking lot was full, so Josh knew the food must be good, though the place looked like it would have been right at home along Route 66 forty years ago.

  Their table and every other one in the place had a small jukebox on it, back against the wall. The waitress, her jaw working as she popped her gum, took their order, then brought a high chair for Katie.

  When their food was brought, Katie threw her green beans on the tile floor and refused to eat more than a few bites. Eden cleaned her up and shrugged. “She’s not a good traveler. She likes her own bed and the other children.”

  “She’ll learn to travel better,” Josh said. He nearly winced when he realized what he’d said.

  Eden looked at him strangely, a question in her eyes. “I don’t travel much,” she said. “She has no reason to get used to it.”

  “Do you want her to just see the four corners of Wabash? Don’t you want her to experience the world and not spend her whole life in a little backwater town?”

  “You’re still planning to take her, aren’t you?”

  Eden’s voice was soft, and Josh dared a glance at her. The steely glint in her eye was at odds with her gentle voice, and he knew she would never let Katie go without a fight. He didn’t want to fight with her.

  Josh’s shoulders tightened. “Yes,” he admitted. “I love her. She’s all I have left of Mandy; she’s the only family I have.”

  “I’m sorry, Josh.” Eden laid a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry you lost your sister. But Katie belongs with me. I’ll never give her up. Never.”

  The finality in her words struck Josh like a blow. He’d only been deceiving himself. There was no way to convince her to give Katie up without a fight. And he didn’t want to fight with Eden. He was beginning to care way too much about her. His thoughts shied away from that direction again.

  He forced a smile. “You’ve said your piece. Are you ready to head for home?”

  Eden plucked Katie from the high chair. “Let me take her to the rest room and change her diaper first.”

  They were silent on the trip home. Josh mulled over his options. He could find a lawyer and take it to court. He thought he might have a good chance if the jury realized he had no family left except for Katie. But the thought of doing that to Eden hurt. No, his best bet was still to find her family. If she had her own kin, maybe she would realize just how important it was for Katie to be with him.

  Light spilled from the windows of the house, and Josh felt a warm glow of homecoming. He stopped the van in the driveway and got out to lift Katie from her seat. Eden held the front door open for him, then shut it behind them.

  Belinda was curled up on the sofa. The fire flickered in the fireplace, and the scent of the apple candle burning on the mantle added to the homey glow of the room.

  Belinda put her book down and smiled at them. “There you are. Rick came and took Andi home with him, and the children are all asleep.”

  “I found my aunt’s address!” Eden burst out. “She lives in Michigan. That’s where Timmy is.”

  “What about your sisters?” Belinda stood and stretched.

  “Molly heard Crista went to Arizona, but she has no idea where or who took her. She hadn’t heard anything about Angelina.”

  “Well, at least it’s a start.” Belinda hugged Eden, then picked up her coat. “Maybe you’ll find some of your family by Christmas. What a holiday that would be!”

  Eden nodded. “I’m almost afraid to hope for that.” She walked Belinda to the hall.

  While Eden saw her friend out, Josh carried Katie to bed. She slept heavily, her thumb in her mouth. He pulled her shoes off and slipped her out of her coat. Trying to decide if he should put her in her pajamas and risk wakening her, he didn’t hear Eden come up behind him.

  She went to the bureau and pulled out a pink fleece sleeper. Josh lowered the side of the crib and laid Katie down. He watched while Eden deftly changed her without waking the sleeping toddler.

  “You’re good at that,” he said. Again, doubts assailed him. Eden knew so much more than he did about raising a child. He’d had no experience. But he had a lot of love. He could learn.

  She smiled. “Katie is a sound sleeper. You go on down and see what you can find on the Net. I’ll be down as soon as I check on the other children.”

  Josh nodded and went down the hall to the stairs. He almost tripped over a fire truck on the stairs but caught the railing just in time. He picked up the toy to make sure Eden didn’t stumble and carried it with him to the living room. Within minutes he was looking for Eden’s aunt on the Internet.

  Eden came in the room, yawning and stretching her back. “Any luck?”

  He shook his head. “No trace of her.”

  “Could we go to Michigan and talk to some neighbors?”

  Her eyes sparkled with determination, and he hoped he wasn’t setting her up for a major disappointment. “I’m game if you are.” Anything to keep that sparkle in her eyes. And as long as he felt needed, he wouldn’t leave. The time of his departure could be pushed back once again. He wasn’t ready to walk away from Eden. Josh shied away from examining just why that was true.

  Chapter 10

  The aroma of roasting turkey filled the kitchen. The tart scent of cranberries mingled with that of pumpkin and cinnamon. Eden had tied balloons everywhere to add a festive touch. She loved Thanksgiving. This year she had something to be even more thankful for. Her heart filled with thankfulness to God for the gift of Katie. Her daughter. The thought sent chills of joy up her spine. This would be their first holiday as a real family.

  And Josh would be here as well. Eden knew the camaraderie would soon be gone. One day he would decide it was time to move on, find a job, and settle down somewhere. The thought deflated the bubble of joy she’d been enveloped in, and she sighed. Picking up the wooden spoon, she began to beat the pumpkin mixture for pies.

  The doorbell rang. “Samantha, would you get the door?” she called.

  She heard Samantha’s footsteps echo along the oak floors. A couple of minutes later Josh’s broad shoulders filled the doorway. He wore black jeans with a garnet sweater. His hair was still a bit damp from his morning shower, and the spicy scent of his cologne added to his masculine presence. Eden forced her attention back to her pies.

  He sniffed. “Smells great. I really appreciate your taking pity on me today. This will be the first real Thanksgiving dinner I’ve had in over ten years. Can I set the table or something?”

&n
bsp; “Sure. But just set it for four.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “I thought the house seemed quiet. Where are the rest of the kids?”

  “With their families for the day.”

  “Even Cory?”

  She’d been trying not to think of that. “I tried to talk social services out of it. Cory’s advocate said his mother had assured her the stepfather wouldn’t be there today.”

  “And they believed her?” Josh’s voice raised.

  “They want to give her a chance. The goal is always to get the family back together.”

  “It shouldn’t always be. When they hurt the child like that man hurt Cory, they lose the right.” Josh scowled. “I’d like to get my hands on him.”

  So would Eden. She forced a smile. “They’ve been warned they’ll go to jail if any harm comes to him. And that would be the least of their worries once you and I found out.”

  Josh’s worried frown didn’t dissipate. “We’d better pray for him today, the other kids too.”

  Eden had already done just that, but the fact that Josh felt comfortable enough with her to suggest they pray together touched her. She wiped her hands on her apron, then took both Josh’s hands in hers and bowed her head.

  The strength of his fingers calmed her heart. Josh cleared his throat. “Lord, we know You love these little ones even more than we do. We ask that You protect them today, give them a good day with their parents, and work in the lives of those families to help them come together again. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  “Amen,” Eden echoed. Josh didn’t release her fingers, and she raised her head, catching his gaze with her own. His dark eyes seemed filled with an emotion Eden was afraid to name, even to herself.

  “You have flour on your cheek,” he said in a gentle voice. He let go of her left hand but kept a tight grip on her right. His fingers brushed her cheek, and he rubbed the smudge away with his thumb.

  The moment drew out between them, and Eden was almost afraid to breathe. He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. It felt right, as though she fit there, as though his arms were made for her. She breathed in the scent of his cologne and wrapped her arms around his waist without thinking. His heart thumped beneath her ear, a slow, steady beat that filled her with confidence. This was a man who wasn’t afraid to be tender, who could laugh at himself yet knew when to be serious. A man who loved children and wasn’t afraid to show it. Her man.