Belinda Read online

  Is this what has been missing in my life, Lord?

  He rested his chin on the top of Andi’s head and relaxed. This was his family. He knew it deep in his heart. But convincing Belinda was going to take some effort. All she seemed to want to do was to mother him the way she did everyone else. He was going to have to get with Dawn and plan a strategy.

  “Pancakes are ready,” Belinda called from the kitchen.

  They smelled wonderful. He stood up with Andi still in his arms and took her to the kitchen with him. She protested a bit over missing Sesame Street but quickly quieted when she saw the pancakes. Rick watched Belinda stand at the counter and cut Andi’s food into small bites until she started on his plate.

  “I think I’m big enough to have an intact pancake,” he objected.

  Belinda flushed, and her hand fluttered to her face self-consciously. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Sorry.” She put both plates on the table and turned to flip the next batch.

  “Aren’t you going to eat with us?”

  “I’ll eat when you’re through. Tell me when you’ve had enough.” She took the pancakes off the griddle and poured more batter on it.

  “Uh-uh; no way am I going to sit here and eat a stack of pancakes when you haven’t even had one yet. Andi and I will wait on you, right, Andi?” He looked at the little girl with a coaxing smile.

  “Mommy always does that,” she confided.

  “Well, not today.” He folded his arms across his chest and waited.

  “But your pancakes will get cold if you wait until they’re all done,” Belinda protested.

  “You’ve got a microwave.”

  She bit her lip, but didn’t argue the point. Once the plate was piled high with pancakes, she sat at the table with them. Rick said grace, and they all dug into breakfast together.

  It felt so right to Rick to be sitting at the breakfast table across from Belinda. He watched the sunlight catch the copper lights in her hair. She ate almost absently with delicate movements. Catching his intent stare, she flushed and looked down at her plate. Rick forked another bite into his mouth. He’d been too busy watching her to really pay attention to the food. The nutty flavor of the pancakes was different than any he’d had before.

  “What’s the nutty flavor?” he asked.

  “Wheat germ.” He raised his eyebrows, and she hastily added, “It’s very nutritious. Andi and I like it on ice cream, too.”

  Wheat germ. He’d never even heard of the stuff. Did he dare take another bite? He looked in Belinda’s beautiful eyes and decided he’d dare anything for her. He took another bite. It was good. Maybe this healthy stuff wasn’t so bad. They finished their breakfast, and Rick leaned back in his chair. “Now wasn’t this more fun than eating by yourself?”

  Her face pink, Belinda nodded. Her eyes really were most amazing, Rick decided. He could gaze into them for hours. The color was unusual, but even more than that, he’d never seen anyone with such love and concern in their eyes. If eyes were the window to the soul, then Belinda’s soul was extraordinarily beautiful.

  He stacked the dishes and carried them to the sink.

  “I could have done that,” Belinda protested.

  “It didn’t hurt me to help. After all, you did the cooking.” He grabbed his hat and bent down to kiss Andi on the cheek. “I have to go to work. Be good, Kemosabe.”

  Andi smiled and clapped her hands. “I knew you were the Lone Ranger! Can I be Tonto?”

  Rick grinned and put on his hat. “We’ll talk about it,” he promised.

  Belinda followed him to the door. “Thanks so much for the flowers,” she said. “I’m sorry I acted so badly.”

  “That’s okay. I wish I’d known about your allergy. You’re a guy’s dream, you know that, don’t you?”

  “What?” She looked confused.

  “What a cheap date you’d be! You’re allergic to flowers, and I’ll bet you hate chocolate, right?”

  “You’d lose that bet, mister.” Her cheeks bloomed with a delicate wash of color, and she looked up at him with a shy grin. “I happen to love chocolate. I’m not a complete embarrassment to my gender.”

  His smile died, and he took an involuntary step toward her. He touched her hair and wound a coppery curl around his finger. It felt just as he’d imagined, silky and soft as a kitten. Her eyes widened, and he gazed deep into their depths. His hand brushed the firm line of her jaw, and he ran his thumb over her lower lip. He bent his head, but before he could kiss her, the doorbell buzzed behind them. She sprang away from him like a startled doe.

  She swallowed hard and opened the door with relief written on her face.

  Mary Bickel stood on the threshold with a huge tiger cat in her arms. “I hope I’m not too early,” she said with an apologetic smile. “If you’ll take Duke, I’ll run back to the car and get his things.” She passed the cat over to Belinda and hurried back outside.

  Rick patted the cat, which promptly hissed and raked his arm with his claws.

  “You do have a way with cats.” Avoiding his gaze, Belinda laughed nervously.

  I moved a bit too fast, he thought, but he’d never felt this way before. He’d had casual relationships, but he’d been too busy early in his career to develop any serious romance. Later, when he’d had time, he’d been occupied with caring for his mother. But he didn’t want to blow this. It was too important.

  “I’d really like to take you and Andi out for supper to celebrate your birthday,” he said, moving toward the door.

  She hesitated, and he could see the regret on her face. “I’ve already promised to watch a friend’s little boy,” she said.

  “On your birthday?” What kind of friend would take advantage of her like that?

  “She had to work and she couldn’t find anyone else.” She smiled that warm, loving smile that did such funny things to his insides. “I don’t mind. Little Cody is a darling. He’s six months old, and Andi adores him.”

  “How about if I bring a pizza over after work then?”

  “Andi would like that.” She finally met his gaze, and Rick saw the pity in her eyes. She still thought of him as someone to mother, but he was determined to change that. He didn’t know how he would get past her defenses, but he wouldn’t give up until he did.

  Chapter 4

  Toto jumped on Duke’s head, and the tiger cat yowled and shot under the couch. Belinda sighed. Toto was good at terrorizing other animals. First Ranger and now Duke. The last time she’d watched Duke, Toto had accepted him within a few hours, but she had a feeling it wasn’t going to be so easy this time. Toto was still adjusting to the puppy. She debated whether she should ask Rick to take Ranger home with him for a few days but decided against it. She’d already thrown his flowers in the trash; she didn’t want him to think she didn’t appreciate anything he did.

  Her heart sped up a bit at the thought of Rick. She had thought he was about to kiss her this morning, but he was just lonely. Once he got settled into town and met some available women, he wouldn’t give her a second look. She knew she was no beauty. Her frizzy hair was a fright; she really ought to get it styled. Her skin was good, but she still carried those stubborn extra fifteen pounds around her hips. She gave an exasperated sigh. She was being ridiculous even thinking about her looks. Rick wasn’t really interested in her. The only reasons he was hanging around were that he liked Andi and he didn’t have any other friends in town. She should try to think of some nice young women to introduce him to. She thought of several she knew, but the thought of them with Rick didn’t appeal to her. She’d just have to let him handle his love life by himself.

  Andi got up from her nap at about three and asked to take the puppy outside to play. Belinda told her to stay in the backyard where she could see her through the kitchen window while she baked some cookies. She wanted to thank Rick somehow for the flowers. It really had been very thoughtful.

  The rest of the afternoon dragged by. Surely she wasn’t pining to see Rick, was she? S
he was scandalized at the thought that he might have become so important to her. He’s just a lonely friend, that’s all, she told herself fiercely. The cookies were cooling on the rack under the window when she heard the distinctive sound of the engine in Rick’s Jeep. Her mouth went dry, and she glanced in the mirror and nearly moaned with despair. Her hair stood on end, and she had flour on her nose. She quickly swiped at the flour and brushed at her faded jeans.

  “Are those cookies I smell?” Rick looked tired, but his smile was wide. He took his Stetson off and hung it on the coat tree by the door. He carried a pizza and a plastic bag from Wal-Mart.

  “You have a good nose. I hope you like chocolate chip. They’re a thank you for the flowers.”

  “Oh, yes, the infamous flowers,” Rick said. He thrust his hand into the bag and handed her a box of Russell Stover chocolates. “Happy birthday.”

  Before she could thank him, Andi squealed and ran to clutch his leg. “Lone Ranger! I was very good today. Do I get to be Tonto?”

  He knelt beside her and stared into her face. “Were you very, very good?” When she nodded, he smiled and reached into his bag again. “In that case, you’d better put this on.” He drew out a braided leather strap for around her forehead. “No self-respecting Indian would go around without his headband.” He put his hand into the bag again. This time he pulled out a small tom-tom.

  Andi’s eyes grew wide, and her mouth opened in a perfect O. She looked at her mother. “Can I keep it?” When Belinda smiled and nodded, Andi danced around with joy. She grabbed the headband in her small fist and waved it in the air. “Put it on me, Mommy, put it on!”

  She was dancing around so much, Belinda had trouble tying it in back. “I have to see!” She dashed to her bedroom, and they heard her shriek of joy. “I’m Tonto, Mommy!” She came back to the living room, whooping and beating on the tom-tom.

  “It’s a good thing you don’t have any neighbors,” Rick said. “I hope you’ll be able to stand the noise.”

  He sounded apologetic, but Belinda felt such a wave of thankfulness and joy that her eyes welled with tears. “Thank you so much,” she whispered. “Andi’s never had someone treat her so special.”

  He touched her cheek. “You’re welcome. She’s a precious little girl, and so is her mommy.”

  Belinda swallowed hard. He was making it very difficult for her. She had to remember that he would find someone worthy of him one of these days. She wasn’t that someone. She hadn’t been the kind of wife she should have been to Andrew, and Rick was too special to get tied up with a widow and her daughter. She bit her lip and turned away.

  “I thought you promised me a pizza,” she said, changing the subject. “I’m starved.”

  The tender expression was gone from his face in an instant to be replaced with a neutral nod. “We’d better eat it before it gets cold.”

  They had just finished their pizza when the doorbell buzzed. “That must be Stacey with little Cody.” Belinda jumped to her feet and hurried toward the door.

  “I hope we’re not interrupting dinner,” Stacey said when Belinda opened the door.

  Cody’s dimples flashed when he saw Belinda. He held out chubby hands for her and gurgled. “Aa–obay,” he chortled.

  “Don’t ask me what he said,” Stacey said when Belinda looked to her for clarification. “Here, he wants you.” She thrust him into Belinda’s arms.

  Belinda cuddled him and buried her nose in his neck. Inhaling the sweet scent of baby powder, she kissed his chubby cheek, and he grabbed a fistful of her hair.

  “Oh, ow,” she muttered. Disentangling his grip, she introduced Stacey to Rick.

  “You’re the new bachelor in church,” Stacey said, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

  Rick grinned. “News must travel fast,” he said, shaking her hand.

  Belinda noticed the way Stacey clung to Rick’s hand. She supposed they would make a good match. Stacey was an out-of-wedlock mom who was struggling to make ends meet and had often lamented to Belinda that there were no good men left, especially not at their church. No wonder she was flirting with Rick.

  But Rick didn’t seem interested. He withdrew his hand and moved back a step. He folded his arms across his chest and, ignoring Stacey’s smile, watched Belinda with the baby in her arms. Belinda felt flustered with his gaze on her. She bounced Cody up and down gently while she chatted with Stacey for a few more moments.

  “Nice meeting you, Rick,” Stacey said, her hand on the door to leave.

  “You, too,” Rick murmured.

  Stacey gave a little shrug and shot a rueful grin at Belinda. “I’ll pick him up around ten,” she said. “Thanks again, Belinda.”

  “Didn’t you like Stacey?” Belinda asked, shutting the door behind her friend.

  “I didn’t want to encourage her,” Rick said with a shrug. “I figured if I dealt with it now, she wouldn’t think I was interested.”

  “She’s a very sweet girl,” Belinda said. “She had a rough childhood and got into trouble, but she was saved three months ago, and God has really turned her life around.” She realized she was more interested in his response than she should have been.

  “That’s great,” Rick said. “But I didn’t want her to think I was interested in anything more than friendship. How about a game of Monopoly?”

  And that was that. Belinda wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed. He was going to make a wonderful husband and father, and if he couldn’t be hers, it would be nice if he could take care of someone as sweet as Stacey. But she had to admit she really wasn’t eager to see him turn his attention to someone else.

  Belinda didn’t see Rick the rest of the week. She assumed he was busy with his new subdivision, but her heart still jumped every time the phone rang. On Friday she packed a small case for Andi. Andi was going to stay with her grandma Alice for the night, and Belinda was going horseback riding with her Sunday school class.

  Her heart sank at the disapproving look on Alice’s face when she came to pick up Andi and Belinda told her what plans she had for Saturday.

  “I believe I’ve made my views known on the ridiculous amount of time you spend with that cult of yours, Belinda. I really must insist you begin to back off from being so involved. I refuse to let Andi grow up with such a narrow-minded view of life.” She fixed her imposing stare on Belinda as if daring her to try to defy her.

  Belinda took a deep breath. “My church is not a cult, Alice. And I must ask you not to voice such opinions in Andi’s presence.” Andi was playing with the puppy, but there was no telling how much she had heard.

  Alice drew her shoulders up and glared at her. “I’ll voice whatever opinion I want, you little upstart! How dare you tell me what I can and cannot say to my own granddaughter! How can you be so gullible as to believe in some unseen God who is looking out for you? Where was He when my son died in that accident? You were the one who should have died.” She thrust her face into Belinda’s until she was almost nose to nose. “Need I remind you that I can have you begging on the street like that?” She snapped her bony fingers in Belinda’s face.

  Belinda quailed, but then an odd peace swept over her. Why had she gotten into the habit of thinking her future depended on Alice’s goodwill? God was the One who held her future in His hands. If Alice shut down her business, the Lord would provide another source of income. He had seen her through this far; He wasn’t about to stop now. She pulled herself up to her full five foot two inches and calmly pushed down the finger that Alice was pointing in her face.

  “You can say whatever you want about me, Alice, but I won’t take any more remarks about my Lord or my church. If you can’t agree to my rules, Andi will not go home with you tonight.” She knew every line of her body told of her determination. She wasn’t one who could hide her feelings.

  Alice stared into her eyes and slowly began to get her anger under control. She sniffed. “Very well. But don’t think you’ve heard the last of this. I’m calling my lawyer to
morrow.”

  Belinda seldom lost her temper, but this was the limit. “Go ahead. Call him!” She grabbed her purse and fished around for her keys. “I’m sick of hearing about it. I’m not going to let you hold this over my head forever. We’ll just go to court and let a judge decide who is fit to raise Andi. Do you really think he’ll choose a bitter, crabby old woman instead of Andi’s mother who loves her?”

  Angry red color swept over the older woman’s face, then receded, leaving her white with rage. She sputtered, too enraged to get the words out. Taking several deep breaths, obviously to compose herself, she took a step forward. “Very well, Belinda. You’ve won this round. I’ll hold my peace for now. But don’t think you’ve heard the last of this.” She picked up Andi’s suitcase and called to her granddaughter. “Time to go, sweetheart.” Her spine was stiff with outrage, but the words were sugary.

  Andi gave the puppy one last pat and jumped to her feet. “I gotta kiss Mommy good-bye.” She ran to her mother, and Belinda knelt to hug her. “Don’t fall off the horse, Mommy,” she said seriously.

  Belinda kissed her soft cheek. “You be good for your grandma.”

  “Is Mr. Ranger going with you?”

  The words were innocent enough, but Belinda could tell by the look on Alice’s face that she knew exactly who Andi meant. “I’m sure he’s too busy working to go with us,” she said. “You’d better run along with Grandma.”

  Alice shot her a venomous glance before taking Andi’s hand and heading toward the door. “Don’t think you can pull the wool over my eyes as easily as you do this child’s,” she muttered under her breath. “I know what you’re up to, and you’d better watch your step.”